1st Station: In the beginning, there was the title
And the title was long.
And Google said, “Shorten it, my child, for your bounce rate shall be great.”
And I shortened it. To a holy 60 characters.
The Lord does not suffer verbosity in expression.
Enlightened by this spiritual revelation, with a heavy pen and trembling hand, I move to the Meta Description…
2nd Station: The Meta Description
The meta description was empty.
Neither spirit nor word dared descend into the snippet.
And a voice came from the cloud: “Write what people want to click!”
Too short… But how, oh Lord, shall I follow Thy Word?
I reach into the depths of my soul to satisfy the merciless character counter and write something soul-stirring… Too long.
Shall we meet halfway and write half a thought? Alas, it resembles nothing!
And so I wrote… exactly 160 characters.
I thought: I’ll make up for it while watching the vision of the SEO Cross Path on the right side of the screen.
3rd Station: The Focus Keyphrase
It sounded like a bus stop.
I pondered whether more is actually less or less is more.
I decided to treat myself to three words.
My SEO plummeted and screamed: “Repent!”
I repented. Two words?
No.
One?
One is acceptable. Okay.
Now repeat it a few times, but not like a parrot — like a poet.
I wrote in poetic tone: Storytelling.
As penance: fix the meta description length, content length, insert links — internal and external — images or video, transition words…
“Is that all, my Lord?”
“Do it, and I shall consider it.”
4th Station: Alt Text
The images were silent.
Google could not see what the eye could.
And I spoke through the alt text: “Split waterfront with cat on the bench.”
And the image was seen.
5th Station: Internal Links
There were eight pages, but none held the hand of another.
And the voice of the plugin said: “Link them, that none may wander in darkness without a CTA.”
And I linked them.
6th Station: External Links
And the page was proud, unwilling to reference others.
And a penalty fell: -10 in the Kingdom of SEO.
I linked to HubSpot, for thus it is written in the sacred scrolls.
7th Station: Images
Carousel there was, but Yoast knew it not.
And I said: “Forgive them, for they know not what they click.“
8th Station: Transition Words
The sentences were as stones — heavy and without passage.
I built them bridges, yet they became too long.
So I shortened them, for they were, therefore, far too complicated.
I repented, naturally, and the light shone instantly.
9th Station: Flesch Reading Ease
Google said: “Write for people, not for saints.”
And I simplified.
And many understood me.
10th Station: The Holy Plugin Said — 88/100
And I clicked “Save”.
For otherwise, I shall repent again.
Amen, and may your bounce rate remain low.
If you’re curious how storytelling translates into real campaigns, take a leap of faith and visit my Portfolio.